Better Than Me
by theregoeseverything
Summary: Murphyxreader. You have a huge crush on your friend, John Murphy...but ever since he's returned to camp, he's been distant. You hope to close that gap, but Bellamy forces the two of you together in an awkward hunting trip that will reveal deep secrets that Murphy's been keeping from you.
1. Chapter 1

You had been working diligently on the wall for what seemed like forever, but people were still recovering from the virus that Murphy had brought to camp, and you were increasingly shorthanded. You didn't blame Murphy. How could you? He didn't know. He was scared. You were the first to find him crawling around in the forest in a bloody, frightened mess when he had returned. It was as though he was coming back just to you.

You were biased in opinion, though, with that stupid little crush of yours. With your rose colored vision, you thought anything he did was perfect. Ever since he had returned, you kept a wary eye on him to make sure he was okay. You weren't allowed to see him while he was in quarantine and it killed you to stay away from him anymore since he had already been banished. It was probably for the best, you thought. You wanted to remove your rosy vision and think clearly…you were at war with the grounders and you had a job to do.

But sure enough, Murphy had finally recovered and was back out working on the wall. You couldn't keep your eyes off him. He was still pretty badly wounded from the torture he received from the grounders and one eye was still swollen. He still managed to catch you staring though.

"Y/N!" Bellamy's voice snapped you out of your daze. You shook yourself and looked at him – his face scowling and then turning to see what you were looking at.

"Sorry, Bellamy. I'll get back to work," you responded nervously.

"No, don't. I need you to go out on a hunt. We're running low on food," Bellamy commanded, "Take Murphy with you."

You saw a small, evil smile tug on the corner of Bellamy's mouth. What he playing matchmaker? You shook your head slightly to turn down Bellamy's command.

"Murphy!" Bellamy called out to him. He didn't take his eyes off you as he watched you squirm in embarrassment. Murphy set down a heavy log and rushed over.

"What's up?" Murphy seemed so much more obedient since he came back. You assumed it was because he didn't want to get kick out again.

"Y/N is going out hunting. I need you to keep an eye out for her," Bellamy directed.

"He's only got one good eye. How much good is he going to be?" you laughed, bitterly. Bellamy scowled down at you and the smile disappeared from your face.

"You're a great hunter, Y/N, but you can't fight worth a damn. Murphy will keep you safe…won't you Murphy?" Bellamy turned to him suspiciously.

"Anything you say, Bellamy," Murphy replied half-heartedly.

"Then off you go," Bellamy shooed the two of you. You quickly went to grab your gear and headed out of camp a few steps behind Murphy.

"I can't protect you if you're behind me," Murphy stated once the two of you were a good ways away from camp. He halted for a moment and let you walk in front of him, pushing your back with a hand.

"Sure, stand behind me to protect me, he says. I think you just want an excuse to check out my behind," you flirted, finally perking up your bravery. Murphy's face turned red in embarrassment, confirming your assumption. You beamed back at him as you took out your make-shift sword that was made from a piece of dropship metal.

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to the task at hand? Bellamy sent us out here to hunt," Murphy snapped back at you, frustrated. You turned back around after giving him a small pouty face in defeat.

"So do you always do as Bellamy tells you, or only when there's a cute girl involved?" you attempted to flirt again, this time facing forward with your head held high. Your eyes continued to scan the woods, but nothing moved.

"I mean it-"

"Why are you being so cold to me?" you snapped, cutting him off.

"Excuse me?" Murphy stopped abruptly as you had turned on him.

"Ever since you came back, you've been ignoring me! I thought we were friends?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Murphy brushed past you, eyes gone icy.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" you shouted.

"Would you shut up?" Murphy barked, twirling around to face you.

You stomped up to him and gave him a shove, pushing him back a bit.

"Why are you being such a jerk?"

"Newsflash – I've always been a jerk. I'm the bad guy, remember?"

"You've never been a jerk to me!" you argued.

"You shouldn't get mixed up with a guy like me," Murphy's tone lowered, "Everyone around me always ends up getting hurt…or worse."

Murphy's words took you by surprise. You looked at him, puzzled – the two of you just standing there. Your eyes were wide as they stared at his sad face. His eyes wandered across the forest floor, avoiding contact with yours.

"Oh," you whispered, cutting the silence.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to end up losing you, too. So just…leave me alone," Murphy mumbled. You took a small step forward and slightly lifted your hand to reach out to him but decided not to, and lowered it.

"Murphy…you're not the bad guy. You've done some stupid shit…but a lot of bad stuff has just happened to you," you continued to argue. You wouldn't give up on him.

"Shit just happens. It's not your fault." You moved forward to continue on your hunt and Murphy made to grab your hand but only brushed his fingertips against the skin of your wrist. Instantaneously, butterflies swarmed throughout your stomach and your head felt light, but you continued forward and followed movement in the brush not too far off. You gripped your sword tightly and crouched down low, Murphy following your lead. A boar peeked out from a bush and you inched your way closer to it, silently. Murphy watched as you suddenly emerged from the bushes and tackled the boar and slit its throat in one fluid motion. He joined you with some rope in hand and began to tie the deceased beast up. You held the boar's legs together as he wrapped them tightly. His hand then accidentally bumped into yours and he stopped, looking up at your face, cheeks gone red.

"Sorry," he mumbled. You smiled at him sweetly and he had to look away, turning his attention back to the task at hand. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your ribcage sore from trying to contain it. You proceeded to lean toward him and your lips caught his in a brief kiss. Murphy then pulled back quickly, his eyes went wide with surprise. Your heart had officially jumped from your chest and into your throat.

"Please…don't," Murphy begged. He looked upset. You could tell he liked it, but he was holding himself back. His eyes were hurt and they focused back on the boar.

After that bit of awkward, the two of you started back for camp, carrying the boar tied to a log that was rested on both your shoulders.

"I'm sorry," you whispered to him upon the sight of the dropship. Murphy didn't respond, but you could hear cheers from the delinquents as they saw you approach. You and Murphy handed of the log to some other delinquents that went to go skin it. You made to go back to your tent to drop off your stuff but heard Murphy shout.

"What the hell happened to my tent!?"

You turned to see what was going on and took notice of Murphy's tent, which had been kicked over and destroyed. Murphy was kicking at the ground around it, looking around at the delinquents for someone to blame.

"It was you, wasn't it, Miller!?" Murphy went after Miller, who was laughing hysterically. Murphy went to punch him but you ran after them, getting between the two of them. Murphy immediately froze his fist.

"Y/N, get out of the way," Murphy growled threateningly.

"No, come on. Punching Miller isn't going to put your tent back together," you smiled at him, pulling his fist down to his side and winked at him, "You can stay in my tent, tonight."

Murphy blushed and looked up from you to see Miller's expression, who was not amused by this suggestion. You pushed Murphy away from Miller, leaving him in his befuddlement and regret. You smiled devilishly back at him as you hooked your arm with Murphy's and led him back to your tent.


	2. Chapter 2

You pushed Murphy back to your tent as delinquents eyed the both of you – some with smirks that thought they knew Murphy was gonna get some, while others stared with accusations, still bitter from all the other crap Murphy had pulled in the past. Murphy brushed past the tarp to enter your tent and held it open slightly for you to follow behind. Once the entrance was covered, though, Murphy spun in your direction with an angry glare.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" you growled in a low tone so that no one could hear. You dropped your gear onto the ground beside your bed.

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing!? Are you _trying_ to embarrass me in front of the whole camp?" You took a step back and opened the tarp to the entrance of your tent slightly to show several delinquents still eyeballing your tent suspiciously – half expecting to hear something.

"Take a look, Murphy. No one is laughing. If anything – they're jealous," you try to convince him but the scowl seemed permanent on his face. You let the tarp fall as you moved around him toward your bed, sitting down on top of the blankets. You looked up at him frustrated, his back turned to you. He lowered his head to look at the ground before turning to look at you with sad eyes. You tilted your head slightly in sympathy as he looked away from you again.

But he had changed his mind – quickly turning on you and pushing you back on the bed. He pressed his lips to yours as he pinned your wrists down to the bed. You were initially surprised but adapted. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to kiss you passionately. You shook your head slightly and he pulled back.

"Wait," you warned him, "You're not in the right frame of mind."

"Y/N, I'm done with pushing you away," he confessed, looking at you, almost scared. You could tell he didn't entirely believe in his own words, but you did. You believed in _him._

His grip around your wrists tightened, but not painfully so – more like he didn't want you to slip from his grasp now that he finally had you. And you had _him_. You smiled, and lifted your head to kiss him gently before he began to shower you with more kisses again, slowly making his way down your neck. His hands trailed down your arms, down to your hips. He licked at the dip where your collar bones met and you took in a sharp breath. He smiled to himself in satisfaction and pulled back, lifting himself off of you to reposition himself. You brushed a hand through his hair and he tilted his head into your palm, encouraging you to continue. You scratched at the back of his neck, teasing and he shut his eyes tightly while biting his lip. Your other hand pulled him back down to you – both of you now repositioned properly and fully on the bed. You decided to turn on him, though. You swiftly turned him onto his back and straddled him between your legs. He looked up at you with pleasant surprise and smirked. You leaned forward, kissed him and pulled yourself back up to pull your shirt off over your shoulders. Murphy's eyes looked over you – starting with your face and running down to your shoulders, a slight pause at your breasts and ended at your hips before looking back up into your eyes. A small giggle escaped your throat as you watched him drink in your image. You could feel him get hard underneath you and you began to sway your hips on him a bit in a figure eight motion. He squirmed excitedly at this and tugged at his pants.

"Come here," he growled seductively, taking you by the waist and pulling you back down to him. Your hair fell into his face and you quickly moved to brush it back and your lips collided once more. While the two of you continued to kiss, you both worked on tugging and pulling clothes off in a struggle – not wanting to pull apart for another moment.


End file.
